There are moments in our lives when nothing feels predictable, when the path before us looks like alien terrain. There’s no map, no precedent, no saying, “Oh, I’ve been through stuff like this before.” I’m on that craggy road right now.
We’ve got a baby on the way, in two months, exactly. Eight weeks! We are “in contract” on our apartment with no discernible plan for our next move. We don’t even know when we have to be out of here.
Though I like this kind of change — typified by forward movement — it takes a little effort to consistently hold it together.
In the moments when I feel like I am falling apart, it’s never easy to hear the voice within me that believes — KNOWS — that everything is going to work out. And not only “work out” but that it’s going to be amazing. But if I can tune into the voice that knows everything will be okay/amazing, I can ask myself the two questions that can usually make the in-between time more bearable.
Two of my favorite questions to ask as you are looking down on yourself are (Tweet ’em!):
How do you want to be right now?
How do you want to look back on yourself in this moment?
These questions very often boil down to the simple inquiry: are you going to be a miserable mess during this time of uncertainty? Or are you going to put on your big-girl pants, keep the faith, and enjoy this time? Time to pull out the big-girl pants.
Here’s why this inquiry works.
These questions allow you to:
Take a good look at yourself right now
Take a long view into the future
Very quickly set an intention
When you can take an objective look at yourself in any situation, you can make dispassionate, intuitive decisions. You can shift if you need to, or stay exactly where you are, if what you see makes you proud. When you take a “meta-view” into the future, you can usually see yourself emerging from this challenging time. And when you account for where you are, and where you want to be, you can take purposeful intentional action, or change your mindset in a way that improves the likelihood of that outcome.
But what about those moments when your mind just keeps churning on the fact that it can’t see the future. It doesn’t know how it will all turn out. But where will we live? And who is going to rent to us? And what will come first, our baby or our move? And if we have to move, where will we go? (You see the cycle here…)
Detach from the need to know the specific details. You already know the most important fact: that it’s going to be okay. Not knowing right now does not preordain bad outcomes. Tweet it!
So, tell me, in what ways are you in limbo? Anything like me? How do you want to be right now? And, how do you want to look back on this time?