I was always a big “wisher.”  But I was selective.  I wished at 11:11 and on birthday candles.  But if someone plucked an eyelash off my cheek and held it up on a pointer-finger and said make a wish, I’d say, “I don’t wish.”  I wanted the wish-granters to know I was serious whenever I threw a wish out into the ether.

Choosing to make a wish that counted at 11:11 was really sort of silly.  It wasn’t as though any of my clocks were synced with Greenwich Mean Time or a satellite or anything.  These were the days of digital read-outs on VCRs or some such.  So, it really could have been 11:13 or something.  In any case, at 11:11, I would always wish for “love.” It was ambiguous but I knew what it meant.  I was wishing for understanding. I was wishing for someone who got me.

My wishes on birthdays morphed over the yeas but I remember one birthday – in our old house, so I couldn’t have been older than 6 – wherein I wished for an ice cream cone because I thought it was a good bet that my wish would come true.

When I was stuck in the “it’s not happening” a few weeks ago, I was advised to re-read the chapter on “knowing” in Add More ~Ing To Your Life.  I finally got around to it.  Gabrielle Bernstein so compellingly lays out the difference between “wishing” and “knowing.”

Tied to your wish is the expectation, however slight, that it could possibly not come true.  It’s like Newton’s Law.  For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.  So, perhaps, the stronger you pine for that thing, the more single-mindedly focused you are on the outcome, the less likely you are to be open to other paths and opportunities and other forms in which your desire could be presented.

When you know that that which you desire is on its way, you know you’ve got the hook-up.  You don’t have to wish.  You know. The Universe has your back and as long as you are tuned-in, not to your wish, but to your intuition, your willingness to be in a positive vibration, your larger purpose or your happiness, you will receive.  This is the knowing.

I let this marinate, last night and this morning.  I read it again.

Then I remembered the moment when I stopped wishing for “love.”

The night I met S, I wasn’t wishing for love.  Not that night, but at some point, not knowingly, I tapped into the knowing.  I released the grasping energy and I was able to live in the moment.  I distinctly remember walking home from the gym on the Friday night that he and I were set to meet for drinks.  It was early June and for whatever reason, it dawned on me: I can just have fun tonight.

At 11:11, on eyelashes, upon a star…I still love the idea of wishing.  The kind of wishing in animation.  The kind immortalized by Jiminy Cricket or Cinderella.  But I’m not going to rely on wishing.  I am going to rely on knowing that I am hooked-up.  I am tuned-in.

What I desire is on its way, and it’s coming to me in greater amounts than I could ever imagine.  This is the vision I choose to hold, in a state of love and gratitude – no matter what.

Next week, on my birthday…I’ll still make a wish.