I’m pretty good at doing things. I’ll say I’m going to do something and I’ll do it. If there’s something I don’t like, I’ll change it. If there’s something I want, I’ll go ahead and get it, or I’ll at least try.
I get really uneasy when there’s no more action to take. I am not so good with the acceptance. I feel really uncomfortable saying, “Okay, this is where I am right now. And that’s okay. I’ve done all I can do. I let it go. It is done.”
Maybe this is my test, my assignment. I have to learn to be present, to at some point, accept, let go and stop trying to control. In all areas of my life, my writing, my relationship, IntenSati, I need to remind myself that things take as long as they need to. I need to let go. I need to trust that the next right action will become obvious, but not if I’m grasping, struggling, controlling, and trying way too hard.
I struggle, though, with the distinction between acceptance and complacency. Complacent means showing smug or uncritical satisfaction with oneself or one’s achievements. If a requirement for complacency is that one is uncritical, then I guess that’s not me. I understand complacency. Perhaps I don’t understand acceptance. It’s not something I can sit in. Acceptance is not simply the realization that there are some things you just can’t change. When you accept you choose to live a situation without attempting to change, protest or leave.
Maybe that’s it: complacency is a condition. Acceptance is a choice. I guess it’s all a choice. But for a doer, acceptance has to be a conscious choice.
The test to ensure I’m not falling into complacency is this: I need to just trust that I will take the next right action. And that I will know what that action is when I’m presented with the opportunity to take it on.
Right now, I’ll take on acceptance, acceptance of myself, acceptance of others, and acceptance of where I am right now. It shouldn’t be all that hard to accept. Things are good. I love my life, my relationship, and my professional pursuits. So, I choose to accept my life right now and see it through the eyes of love.
