Forgiveness means releasing yourself and the person you are forgiving from the bonds of resentment. It’s not an easy thing. There are entire books on the art of forgiveness: how to’s with tips, research, and step-by-step processes for forgiving fully and completely and without ego.
However, one way to start on the road to forgiveness is to send the person you want to forgive, positive, healing, loving vibes, or white light. Again, not easy. You’re likely pretty annoyed with this person so why should you hope they feel positive energy? The answer is simple, really. If you hold a grudge, the grudge holds you. And you can’t move on.
To access the freedom of forgiveness, try using the negative thoughts you have about the person to your advantage. Every time you find yourself mumbling your malcontent in your head, use it as a cue to forgive. Use every negative thought as an alarm clock reminder to send the person good vibes.
A few years ago, a friend of mine unceremoniously cut off our friendship. I was baffled. I tried to get to the bottom of it, make plans, reconnect, but the relationship just fizzled because the attempt was one-sided. These days, I often walk past the building where she lived – she may still live there, I don’t even know! I used to rehearse what I would say if I ran into her. Would I pretend I was too busy to talk? Would I smile and wave, all fake-like? Would I act as though I forgot who she was because I was too busy with my new life without her? I was full of resentment at the dissolution of our friendship and her unwillingness to tell me why she was dumping me.
Finally I realized: her apartment building is my alarm clock. Now, when I walk by I send her white light. I say to myself, I hope for her everything I hope for myself. I forgive her and release her. By the time I’m done, I’m already at the end of the block, somehow moving with ease because I’m not weighed down by those craggy, negative thoughts.